Titans, I've assembled you all
here for a staff meeting.
Staff meeting! Staff meeting!
What was that for?
-(BEEPING)
-I've been going over
the performance reviews
and vigilance is down 4%.
Justice, 5%.
Yet, somehow,
horseplay is up 95%.
(NEIGHING)
What?
Now, if you guys were just more
like my staff here...
Ugh... Here we go again.
-What?
-You treating that staff
like it's a person!
They got a great
tuna melt there, too...
Uh, I'm sorry, what, Cyborg?
I missed that. We were
discussing lunch plans.
Yeah. It's super weird, Robin.
Oh, yeah? Well, we think
you're super weird. So, ha!
On Tamaran,
many people communicate
with lumps of wood.
Thank you, Starfire.
Those people are
banished from our city
and fed to the Dorpnug.
You do know
it's just a stick, right?
Uh-oh!
He hates being called that!
A stick?
You better stop
calling him that!
Well, that's what it is.
Mr. Sticky Stickerton.
A stick, stick,
stickitty stick!
(WOBBLING)
Whoa, whoa! Calm down, buddy.
Trust me,
they're not worth it.
Look into my eyes.
Go to your happy place.
(SQUEAKING)
(WHISPERING) Stick.
-I warned you!
-(WHOOSHING)
-What you call a stick...
-Ow!
...is the most refined
fighting instrument
on the planet!
-Perfectly balanced!
-Ooh... Ooh... Ow!
-(ZAPPING)
-Multi-purpose!
And the best friend
a guy could ask for.
But I thought
I was your best friend.
-No!
-Oh! Ow!
Bottom line, this staff
is the best sidekick
any hero could ever have.
-Oh, what's that?
-(WHISPERING)
Oh, yeah, burger sounds great,
buddy.
They got that Kaiser bun th-
You driving?
(SIZZLING)
(HEAVY FOOTSTEPS)
Ugh. Anyone seen the plunger?
Why not use Robin's staff?
Yeah, he seems to think
it can do any job.
(FLUSHING)
(INDISTINCT DIALOGUE)
(WHOOSHING)
Wow, this stick is awesome!
(GROANING)
(ALL ARGUING)
I love this stick.
-(CYBORG'S SIREN BLARING)
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, dudes,
I got a solution.
(GRUNTING) There.
Ooh... I think you broke it.
Aw, snap! Literally.
Robin will be greatly upset.
Then no one better tell him.
Maybe I can put this together
with a little magic.
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
-(POWERING DOWN)
(ZAPPING)
(YAWNING)
Morning, guys.
Anybody seen my staff?
-Uh-uh.
-(NERVOUSLY) Nope.
-Sorry.
-(STAMMERING)
We broke it!
What?
Yeah, your stick got broke.
But, we taped it together!
Good as new. Here you go, bro.
-Yeah, I can still use this.
-(WHOOSHING)
-Sure you can, bud.
-(SCREECHING)
I have a feeling
everything's gonna be A-O-K.
A-O-K, yeah.
(LAUGHING)
(ROBING GRUNTING)
Everything is not A-O-K!
(SOBBING)
(WEEPING LOUDLY)
(SOBBING) It's not fair.
It worked so well before.
(WHIMPERING)
(SNORING)
(SOBBING)
-Argh!
-(BOMB BEEPING)
(SOBBING AND GRUNTING)
Sad punch... Sad punch!
Frowny kick!
(ROBIN YELPS)
(VEHICLES HONKING)
(LOUD CRASH)
Oh, how I hate when Robin
glorbnaks with the sadness.
Yeah, bro needs a new stick.
But you heard him,
that staff was irreplaceable.
If a spell won't work,
there is one place
he could get a new one.
(SOBBING)
Robin...
(BLOWING NOSE)
What?
Ugh... I know a place where
you can find a new staff.
One that's even better
than the last one.
There can never be
another staff! Never!
(WHISPERING) Never!
(SNIFFLING) Look,
I don't want a new staff.
What if it was magic?
I like magic.
Then you have to journey
to the ancient Universe Tree.
The tree that will
heal your pain
and give you a new staff.
The Universe Tree? (SNIFFLING)
-How do I find it?
-Make no mistake.
The quest is long
and dangerous.
You will have to scale
the Mountain of Doubt,
pass over the Infinite Chasm,
and only when you see
the Falcon of Truth
will you be halfway there.
And finally, you will arrive
at the Universe Tree.
Is there somewhere I can
drive to instead?
-No!
-(GRUNTS)
(WIND WHISTLING)
(FALCON SCREECHING)
Whoa... This must be
the Universe Tree.
(ANGELIC SINGING)
Ah...
I am, indeed. I have been
waiting for you, Robin.
You can talk?
Of course, I can talk.
I am the magic tree
of Elderioth.
In fact,
I speak many languages,
some only known to demons
and fairy-folk.
I've come to find a new staff.
It would appear you have
already found one.
(CHUCKLES)
-This?
-You see, Robin, your journey
was not about finding...
Yeah, this is a root!
I ripped it out of
the side of a filthy mountain.
-It's got bird dookie on it!
-(BIRD CAWING)
-Wait! Don't do...
-(ROBIN GROANS)
I want a magic staff.
I'm afraid you do not
understand.
The staff is merely... Ow! Ow!
Hey! What are you doing there?
(GRUNTING)
Came here for a staff,
gonna get a staff!
You're missing the point.
Ow... Ow! Ow!
Okay, that's starting to hurt.
(CHAINSAW BUZZING)
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
Please. If you stop now,
I may yet survive.
(ROBIN YELLING) Timber!
(SNAPPING) Not bad.
(WHISTLING)
How could you cut me down!
I have been here providing
wisdom to travelers
since the beginning of time!
(THUNDER CRASHING)
-Sounds boring.
-A little bit, yes.
Well, now you're going to
get to see the world
and hit people in the face.
That could be
a nice change of pace.
You know,
my other staff talked,
but never really out loud.
It was only kind of
in my head.
This might actually work out.
BOTH: We are the magical
tree custodians,
guardians of the forest.
Prepare to be punished!
Knee smack!
Custodian poke!
-Ear bite!
-(CUSTODIAN GROANING)
Huh...
My old staff didn't bite.
Do I look like your old staff?
I've assembled you all here
for a staff meeting.
-Staff meeting! Staff meeting!
-CYBORG AND RAVEN: Ow!
-Staff meeting! Staff meeting!
BEAST BOY AND STARFIRE: Ow!
BEAST BOY: Ouch...
Check it out.
I have a new staff,
even better
than the one before.
(ANGELIC SINGING)
It appears you are
in much better spirits.
Thanks to Raven.
This guy is great!
Then I guess you don't want
your old one back.
-My staff!
-Oh...
(LAUGHING) You're alive!
-Yeah, what's that?
-(WHISPERING)
Oh, yeah, buddy.
I missed you too.
I finally figured out a spell
to put it back together.
We've got a lot of
catching up to do.
What?
Oh, yeah,
a movie sounds great.
What are you going to do
with me?
Oh, I know exactly what to do
with you.
For 3,000 lives of men,
I have bestowed
wisdom and knowledge.
I was not made for this!
Man, you talk too much.
(STAFF GURGLING)